Being a Full-time Housewife Isn’t Woman’s Idea of Retirement

Cleaning and cooking all day long

I have spent more than 50 years in the workforce and have successfully pursued a number of careers. I have a bachelor’s, a master’s, and a doctoral degree. I am recognized widely for my work.

Throughout my adult life and marriage, I have worked hard to balance my family and work responsibilities and to provide a model to my children and other women that this difficult juggling task could be accomplished. Although I have kept a beautiful and neat home and prepared many meals, housekeeping was never my favorite activity. Read More >>

How Can Freelance Writers Make It in This Economy?

Now is the time for creative thinking

Dear Ellie:

This recession has impacted my income as a writer so severely that I don’t know what to do. For more than 30 years, I have been successful as a freelance writer. I enjoy an excellent reputation in my city and have had continuous contracts with newspapers and a wide variety of magazines. Now newspapers are shrinking or going bankrupt, and many magazines have simply stopped publishing. I have recently been writing for some medical magazines and have experience in the restaurant and travel industries. I have not had a new contract for a number of months, and I am getting desperate. I am over age 65 and cannot survive on Social Security alone. What do you advise? Read More >>

Help Friends Stay Away from Regrets over the Past

Don't regret the things you did not do

Dear Ellie:

Recently, I have been hearing many of my older women friends talking about the things in their life that they regret. Mostly, their regrets seem to be about things that they did not do, rather than things they did do. It seems sad to me that they are thinking so negatively and missing out on the pleasures of their mature lives. What might I do to help them change their attitudes or focus their attention on the future rather than the past? Wilma

Dear Wilma:

You are very generous to want to help change your friends’ negative and remorseful attitudes. I agree with you—there is little to be gained from thinking about what we did not do in past years. However, the good thing about talking about our regrets is that we can acknowledge them, perhaps do something about them, and move on. If our regrets stay buried, they can gnaw away at our current satisfaction and cause us to live unhappily in the past. Read More >>

Writing Can Help Widow Through Difficult Period in Life

Not easy adjusting to being a widow

Dear Ellie:

My husband died recently from a heart attack, and I am trying to get accustomed to being a widow at age 68. It isn’t easy. Everywhere I look, I see his clothes, books, tools, and the things in our house that he loved. This was a second marriage for both of us. His first wife died, and I had been divorced from my first husband for many years. My late husband and I were married for 18 years and had a very successful relationship. We were interested in the same things, traveled all around the world, were active in our community, and enjoyed each others’ children. I had an ideal and secure life with him.

He left a number of letters and papers about his early life, which I have never read. He always said that I should read them after he is gone. He has been gone for six months. Do you think that I should read them now? Read More >>

Each Generation of Women Has Its Own Concerns

Cross the generational lines

Dear Ellie:

I was in a women’s group meeting recently, and I was surprised at the differences in the interests and concerns of women of different ages. I guess I never realized how much our age affects our perspectives. Do you have the same experience when you teach, make a presentation, or just go to an event with women of different ages? Debbie

Dear Debbie:

Yes, of course. Women—and men, for that matter—of different ages have lived through different historical events, and they focus on the particular issues of their own personal lives at different stages. Our age often determines what our most important issues are. The research on adult development gives us some guidelines about what to expect at different stages of our lives.

I made a presentation at a women’s group recently and started the program with a question that I often ask my audiences to address in pairs, preferably with someone they do not know. What is the most important issue in your life right now? was the question. Here are some of the answers I recorded in my notes: Read More >>