The Last Blog Entry

It's time

Mom is doing just fine. As a matter of fact, her diabetes is so stable that the glucose checks are down to once a week for another few weeks; thereafter, they’ll be done every two weeks. The woman is going to live forever, or so it seems. Read More >>

Terminal Sedation as Part of End-of-Life Care

New York Times: “Hard Choices for a Comfortable Death: Drug-Induced Sleep”

Seems that while I have been spending most of my waking hours thinking about care models for frail old people, a new and somewhat disturbing practice has been in play at hospice centers around the world. Terminal sedation or palliative sedation are terms used to describe the intravenous administration of powerful sedative drugs intended to keep dying, suffering patients under deep sedation, until death, while withholding artificial nutrition or hydration. Read More >>

Sons and Mothers

So why should sons get involved in long-term care?

A strange-looking woman, she (I’ll call her Ivy) is tall and lean, with an almost athletic posture. She wears a large neck brace that was probably designed to keep her head from totally flopping over. In fact, without the brace, it looks as if her head might fall off. At one time in her life, Ivy was probably very attractive, but not now. I heard it had something to do with a medication reaction. Read More >>

Fine Clothing, Part Deux

The pink sweater

Reorganizing the dresser drawers is now a regular part of my visits to Mom. It didn’t start out that way; but this year, when spring turned to summer, I went through mom’s drawers to see if she needed more lightweight clothing and if I needed to store some of her warmer things at my house.

What a mess! Nothing was properly folded. Nothing was in order. The tops and pants were rolled up together and the nice cotton tops were rolled in a drawer, along with someone else’s clothes that weren’t even her size, not even close. All the nice pants, where were they? And the expensive thermal tops, where were they? I was really pissed. Read More >>

Respite Care: Available Wherever You Live

This is somewhat of a rant

Taking care of a frail, possibly demented older person or a young, significantly dependent younger person is hard work. Would a mechanic try to work on a car without tools? Would a doctor try to set a bone without an x-ray? Would an architect try to build a building without plans? I think not. We all need tools to do the job, and respite for caregivers is an essential tool in the caregiver toolbox. Read More >>

A Good Enough Daughter’s Tips for Enjoying the Holiday Season

Making things as easy and stress free as possible

Tips to enjoy the season with your old, frail, possibly demented family member are easy to find on the Internet. Just type “ caregiver holiday tips” into your search engine, and a long list of Web site options will be displayed on your screen.

While I have tremendous respect for anyone who develops a holiday tip list, I find that many of those tips don’t apply to my situation. My mother lives in a dementia-oriented assisted living center in Seattle and may not have far to go. Read More >>

Going Shopping with Mom

The power of the bargain

Assisted living regulations require that residents’ clothing be washed in very hot soapy water and dried in very hot dryers. As a result, clothing gets really beaten up and wears out fast. After a year at Gaffney House, my mother needed some new clothes, so I thought we would go shopping. Read More >>

I Have the Power to Withhold Mom’s Medical Treatment

So why can’t I exercise her political voice?

Can I complete my mother’s mail-in ballot, voting as her proxy? While the answer may seem obvious, I wasn’t sure if it was legal or not. I know how she would vote in most cases. For those candidates and issues in doubt, I would not cast a vote. Read More >>

Caregiving Plans

One person’s good idea is another’s disaster in waiting

My friend Irene is now in charge of managing care for her mother-in-law. Other family members are in the area, including a son, but the job has gone to Irene. In her typically intelligent fashion, Irene did the research, called the experts, and asked a lot of questions. She gained a good understanding of the process and is prepared for the task. That said, I think she has set up a caregiving situation that, from my perspective, is fraught with problems. Read More >>

Gossamer of Sadness

So many people are afraid of getting old

“Getting old is hell,” my friend Jo recently wrote. I think her words and sentiment reflected her feelings of loss. Loss of her dear parents, who are slowly fading away, and a sense of loss as the signs of her own aging are becoming clearer with the passage of each birthday. Perhaps it’s not really getting old that seems so hellish as is the realization that what was once, will never be again. Read More >>