Help Friends Stay Away from Regrets over the Past

Don't regret the things you did not do

Dear Ellie:

Recently, I have been hearing many of my older women friends talking about the things in their life that they regret. Mostly, their regrets seem to be about things that they did not do, rather than things they did do. It seems sad to me that they are thinking so negatively and missing out on the pleasures of their mature lives. What might I do to help them change their attitudes or focus their attention on the future rather than the past? Wilma

Dear Wilma:

You are very generous to want to help change your friends’ negative and remorseful attitudes. I agree with you—there is little to be gained from thinking about what we did not do in past years. However, the good thing about talking about our regrets is that we can acknowledge them, perhaps do something about them, and move on. If our regrets stay buried, they can gnaw away at our current satisfaction and cause us to live unhappily in the past. Read More >>