The Truth About Older Drivers

Most seniors are safe drivers

Each family must ask, "Is our older loved one safe while driving?" If the answer is no, then the next question becomes, "Who should do the talking?" Read More >>

The New “Female Problem”

Caregiver stress affects women in the workplace

In the halls of the nation’s businesses, the hushed whispers once reserved for gossip and Monday morning quarterbacking now echo the despair that stressed-out women are feeling in their role as caregivers. While a growing percentage of today’s caregivers are men, the role is still largely filled by women. Male management does not have the tools to adequately discuss and remedy what could be considered the new “female problem” in the workplace.

An individual’s face may not readily give away clues of caregiver stress, but a quick look at that employee’s attendance record will reveal absenteeism caused by caring for an aging loved one. Another clue is that the employee has been submitting health care benefit claims for stress-related disorders, including doctor visits and prescription orders. Read More >>

New Tool Helps Manage Multiple Meds

Identify potential drug interactions

Move over “aging in place” and make room for “polypharmacy,” the newest buzz phrase in the senior services industry. Polypharmacy generally refers to the use of multiple medications by a patient, often when they are not clinically warranted. Many seniors have multiple physicians who might not be aware of all the medications each patient is taking. When a new prescription is written without that knowledge, harmful drug interactions or changes in effectiveness could occur.

Polypharmacy is most common among people over age 65. Approximately one-fifth of them take at least 10 medications a week. The Institute of Medicine estimates that at least 1.5 million adverse drug events occur in the United States every year, thousands of them fatal. Studies indicate that about one-third of these drug reactions among senior citizens—and 42% of serious, life-threatening, or fatal events—are preventable.
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Does the Buck Stop Here?

If your parents’ money is disappearing, you need to intervene

Often, an Aging with Grace eldercare specialist will be asked, “If I sign the monthly agreement for my parents’ assisted living community, will I be responsible if they run out of money?” The answer is no. Debt is nontransferable from your parents to you, even if you are the person designated with power of attorney. The exception would be if you co-signed a bank loan, auto loan, or something similar that would list you as co-debtor.

Speaking with parents about their finances often makes us uncomfortable. I was raised in a family where money was never discussed in front of the kids. Let’s face it: many of us don’t want to engage in the money conversation with our spouse, let alone our dad! However uncomfortable the subject might be, it is necessary. Read More >>

Forgiveness Is Not Always Easy

True forgiveness requires honesty

As a fan of the show ER from the very first episode, I was of course glued to the TV for the finale. If you were one of the many who tuned in for the last episode, you were more than likely touched by the scene between the elderly couple who had known each other since first grade. The tenderness of the scene where the husband asks the emergency room doctor to do something, to do more, brought tears to my eyes.

However, what made the tears flow down my cheeks was the scene of the daughter telling the emergency room nurse that she couldn’t remember why she was estranged from her mom and that of course “now it really doesn’t matter because she’s dying.” What this scene was conveying in a very poignant way is to treat everyone like it is their last day with you. Read More >>

How a Simple Word Can Take Us Back…

What words take you back in time?

Just as music can take us back to different times in our lives, so can words.

Last week, I walked into my favorite nail salon to get a mani/pedi, and sitting there waiting was an elderly woman and her middle-aged daughter. I’m guessing that the woman was mid-80s and the daughter late 50s or early 60s. As I was “soaking,” I overheard the mom say to the daughter, “When we leave here, I want to go to Macy’s and get a housecoat.”

I started to chuckle. The word housecoat immediately catapulted me back to my teen years, when I would run down the stairs in my underwear (at that time, underwear consisted of a bra, underpants, girdle, pettipants, and a slip—don’t ask!) to iron a white, oxford, button-down, collared blouse to wear under my V-neck sweater with my pleated skirt. If you’re a woman in your late 50s or early 60s, you are likely smiling and remembering this scene in your own life! Read More >>

My Funny Eldercare Story, and It Isn't All About Stress!

It's just you and Fred

My husband went to pick up my 87-year-old mother and bring her to our home for Sunday dinner as he does every week. As they came in the front door, I hugged my mom as I always do. As I stood there taking an extra long hug (I do this all the time now because . . . well, I don't know if I will get the chance again), I saw my husband in extreme animation pointing to his eyebrows and then pointing to mother. It certainly appeared to be code for "Holy crap, your mom has too much makeup on." Read More >>