Posted 11/23/2009
Respite Care: Available Wherever You Live
This is somewhat of a rant
By Sara Myers
Taking care of a frail, possibly demented older person or a young, significantly dependent younger person is hard work. Would a mechanic try to work on a car without tools? Would a doctor try to set a bone without an x-ray? Would an architect try to build a building without plans? I think not. We all need tools to do the job, and respite for caregivers is an essential tool in the caregiver toolbox. Read More >>
Posted 10/31/2009
I Have the Power to Withhold Mom’s Medical Treatment
So why can’t I exercise her political voice?
By Sara Myers
Can I complete my mother’s mail-in ballot, voting as her proxy? While the answer may seem obvious, I wasn’t sure if it was legal or not. I know how she would vote in most cases. For those candidates and issues in doubt, I would not cast a vote. Read More >>
Posted 10/25/2009
Caregiving Plans
One person’s good idea is another’s disaster in waiting
By Sara Myers
My friend Irene is now in charge of managing care for her mother-in-law. Other family members are in the area, including a son, but the job has gone to Irene. In her typically intelligent fashion, Irene did the research, called the experts, and asked a lot of questions. She gained a good understanding of the process and is prepared for the task. That said, I think she has set up a caregiving situation that, from my perspective, is fraught with problems. Read More >>
Posted 10/18/2009
Gossamer of Sadness
So many people are afraid of getting old
By Sara Myers
“Getting old is hell,” my friend Jo recently wrote. I think her words and sentiment reflected her feelings of loss. Loss of her dear parents, who are slowly fading away, and a sense of loss as the signs of her own aging are becoming clearer with the passage of each birthday. Perhaps it’s not really getting old that seems so hellish as is the realization that what was once, will never be again. Read More >>
Posted 10/11/2009
Adult Day Care Is a Caregiver’s Best Friend
Please support your local center
By Sara Myers
For years, adult day services—the term used to describe both adult day care and adult day health care—have been labeled “the best-kept secret.” I have never understood why. Adult day centers are wonderful places for old, frail, and disabled adults to spend a day. People who work at day centers are truly remarkable. They are well educated, usually have special degrees or certifications, and understand how to work with difficult behaviors common to, for example, dementia. Read More >>
Posted 10/04/2009
Happy Birthday, Mom
Her spirit's still strong
By Sara Myers
When I think of my mother, I like to think of her when she was a young, smart, strong, brave, red-headed woman living in New York City in the 1940s, having the time of her life, a woman of undaunted spirit and vitality. When I look at her now, that’s who I see, in spite of the obvious. Read More >>
Posted 09/21/2009
The Three Plagues of Long-term Care: Loneliness, Helplessness, and Boredom
“Because three hots and a cot” is just not good enough
By Sara Myers
I want to throw my purse at long-term care facility administrators who say, because of financial restraints, that they cannot intentionally and successfully address what Dr. Bill Thomas calls the “three plagues” of long-term care: loneliness, helplessness, and boredom. Their thinking goes, if facilities would only take in more money, there would be enough resources to deal with those problems. Claptrap. It’s not about money—it’s about culture and priorities. Read More >>
Posted 09/14/2009
Whatever You Do, Don’t Do It Alone
Caregivers must reach out to each other
By Sara Myers
A shout out to those who shared their caregiving experiences related to residents’ boredom in long-term care. A few weeks ago, I wrote about my concern for my mother. She receives excellent care but seems quite bored. Not sure what to do, I asked readers to send in their take on the subject and a few suggestions for how they have dealt with the issue. Read More >>
Posted 09/07/2009
All by Itself, Managing the Money Is a Full-time Job
Lessons learned . . .
By Sara Myers
I have job, a full-time job. Since I manage two adult day service associations—Washington Adult Day Services Association and National Adult Day Services Association—it sometimes feels like I have two full-time jobs. And I have been managing my mother’s finances and care for about two years, which means I essentially have three jobs. Read More >>
Posted 08/31/2009
Help! My Mother Is Dying of Boredom
Grateful for the care, yet . . .
By Sara Myers
My mother appears to be quietly fading. I understand the process of dementia, but she seems so vacant, partly because of the relentless boredom she lives with. Gaffney House has been home to my mother for almost a year. Overall, I think the staff does a remarkable job caring for very disabled people. Read More >>
