The Last Blog Entry

It's time

Mom is doing just fine. As a matter of fact, her diabetes is so stable that the glucose checks are down to once a week for another few weeks; thereafter, they’ll be done every two weeks. The woman is going to live forever, or so it seems. Read More >>

Terminal Sedation as Part of End-of-Life Care

New York Times: “Hard Choices for a Comfortable Death: Drug-Induced Sleep”

Seems that while I have been spending most of my waking hours thinking about care models for frail old people, a new and somewhat disturbing practice has been in play at hospice centers around the world. Terminal sedation or palliative sedation are terms used to describe the intravenous administration of powerful sedative drugs intended to keep dying, suffering patients under deep sedation, until death, while withholding artificial nutrition or hydration. Read More >>

Sons and Mothers

So why should sons get involved in long-term care?

A strange-looking woman, she (I’ll call her Ivy) is tall and lean, with an almost athletic posture. She wears a large neck brace that was probably designed to keep her head from totally flopping over. In fact, without the brace, it looks as if her head might fall off. At one time in her life, Ivy was probably very attractive, but not now. I heard it had something to do with a medication reaction. Read More >>

Fine Clothing, Part Deux

The pink sweater

Reorganizing the dresser drawers is now a regular part of my visits to Mom. It didn’t start out that way; but this year, when spring turned to summer, I went through mom’s drawers to see if she needed more lightweight clothing and if I needed to store some of her warmer things at my house.

What a mess! Nothing was properly folded. Nothing was in order. The tops and pants were rolled up together and the nice cotton tops were rolled in a drawer, along with someone else’s clothes that weren’t even her size, not even close. All the nice pants, where were they? And the expensive thermal tops, where were they? I was really pissed. Read More >>

A Good Enough Daughter’s Tips for Enjoying the Holiday Season

Making things as easy and stress free as possible

Tips to enjoy the season with your old, frail, possibly demented family member are easy to find on the Internet. Just type “ caregiver holiday tips” into your search engine, and a long list of Web site options will be displayed on your screen.

While I have tremendous respect for anyone who develops a holiday tip list, I find that many of those tips don’t apply to my situation. My mother lives in a dementia-oriented assisted living center in Seattle and may not have far to go. Read More >>

Going Shopping with Mom

The power of the bargain

Assisted living regulations require that residents’ clothing be washed in very hot soapy water and dried in very hot dryers. As a result, clothing gets really beaten up and wears out fast. After a year at Gaffney House, my mother needed some new clothes, so I thought we would go shopping. Read More >>

Obama Wants to Reduce Entitlements

How will this impact services to old people?

Most people have little interest in budgets and policies that impact services to older adults—until the issue becomes personal. When Mom or Dad needs home care or adult day services or a nursing home, families suddenly sit up and pay attention. And that is a good thing.

Obama is the latest in a long line of politicians who have talked about reducing entitlements—code for reducing Medicaid long-term care and Medicare expenses. I am betting that within the next four years, Americans will see strong efforts to shrink federal dollars that pay for services for older and disabled adults. Read More >>

Guilty

Too busy to visit mother

I have been busy. No, I have been very, very busy. I normally visit my mother once a week, sometimes twice a week. She lives in an assisted living facility near my office in Seattle, but it has been almost three weeks since I visited, and I have been feeling really guilty—as if I had abandoned her.

Webster’s defines the word guilty as "having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; justly subject to a certain accusation or penalty; culpable.” Yikes! Pretty serious stuff. Read More >>

To Prepare for Old Age, Begin Taking Risks When You Turn 55

I believe that we should treat old age as if it were an event for which we must train. To build confidence in our ability to weather changes, I think we should voluntarily assume risks when we hit age 55—and thereafter for as long as possible.

 

 

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Telling My Brothers About Mom’s Dementia-Related Behavior

We’re all in this together

Those of you who have cared for your old and frail family members know that each day brings new challenges, issues, and questions. Throw in dementia as a factor and the caregiving experience can get downright bizarre at times.

My 91-year-old mother measures 4 feet 10 inches tall and weighs about 98 pounds. She has always been friendly, helpful, and kind. She’s a retired Salvation Army social worker. She never swore, and she certainly never hit anyone. That all changed with the onset of dementia. Read More >>