Silver Planet™ Help Your Parents Age in Place.

Here’s a sneak peek from my new book, How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully and Sensibly, available on my website, estatelady.wordpress.com.

Problem: Two of my siblings are fighting over the same heirloom.  How do you split that?

Solution: When two or more are arguing over the same item(s), you have a few options, but ultimately it is up to the level of stubbornness of the people involved.

It is a difficult and trying experience when children and other heirs have to divide the personal belongings of their parents. Sometimes the resulting disagreements can last a lifetime.

That is why I wrote my new book, How to Divide Your Family’s Estate and Heirlooms Peacefully & Sensibly. It takes you through the process of dividing up an estate and gives you sound advice on dealing with the all-too-common emotional and relational minefield that develops.

Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has examined it. So many boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a fortune, simply because they don’t know the values. Tell everyone no until the appraiser has reviewed everything. The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to what you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will give you! Keep the following:

Many older people have a long-term distrust of banks and often hide their valuables in the strangest places. If your parents are European immigrants, they have an even greater tendency to do this, and if either parent has dementia or Alzheimer’s, they likely have hidden things and forgotten about them.

Many seniors hide money and valuables that often go unnoticed in the liquidation of their estates. Here are the most common places where these valuables may be found:

Now that the weather is cooling and the leaves are falling, here are six practical ways that you can assist your elderly parents:

When a loved one becomes infirm or passes away, the handling of the estate and contents lands on the lap of the heir(s). If the heir is prepared, it will go much easier than if he or she operates in a crisis mode. All too often, I see children who don’t know anything about the estate and contents. It’s like they are literally walking into a dark house and starting from scratch with no guidance. Here are some important tips to consider if you are currently dealing with an estate or will soon be handling one:

As promised last week, here’s how you can contribute to a more peaceful resolution when dividing heirlooms in your parents’ estate.

It’s an observation worth noting: when it comes to dividing heirlooms and estate contents, everyone tenses up and no one wants to be the first to talk. You can sense the apprehension in the room, and it appears as if everyone is trying to predict what others will do. Will my sister make a fuss? Will my brother want the same things I want, and if so, what do we do? Will there be fighting and resentment?

Donating, recycling, and selling are less expensive than a dumpster and may provide cash for your unwanted items. They may also provide a tax deduction or help out a worthy cause. Use your imagination when deciding where things could go, other than black trash bags! Can someone use your items in some form or fashion? This is the ultimate in recycling. Remember the following when cleaning out estates:

Question: My mother died a few months ago, leaving me completely overwhelmed with the accumulated mess she left behind. Though I tried to offer help on many occasions through the years, she would hear no part of clearing out her stuff. I spend most of my days in tears, resentful that she left me this mess, squeezed between her affairs and my family and job. Do you have any advice for me to handle this daunting task? Can you at least tell others not to do this to their children?