Silver Planet™ Help Your Parents Age in Place.

Grief can be a hard subject to talk about. No amount of planning can eliminate the grief or loss associated with the death of an elder loved one—and it shouldn’t. Grief is an important part of death, and you need to allow yourself to feel it. It is a healthy and powerful way to show love. Grief is often internalized through thoughts and feelings, but you may also express grief in words and tears. We were given tear ducts to relieve the stress and pressure of our lives. Use them.

When faced with caregiving, many of you will decide that you just can’t manage this process alone. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to—you just have to do all you can in the time allotted. It’s easy to become overwhelmed, but your elder’s final days depend on your focused attention and energy.

With life expectancy on the rise, the need to make homes and facilities safer and more accessible for the aging population is a more crucial issue than ever before. One cutting-edge movement—universal design—is poised to alter the landscape of community interior and exterior architecture as we know it and will set us on a track to soften the impact of the geriatric tsunami headed our way.

I’m thrilled by the recent advances in adapted equipment. Books, videos, Web sites, and pamphlets are out there for almost any type of elder care, handicap, or special need. They are more widely available than people think. Once you determine your elder’s need, you should be able to find adapted equipment that will improve the quality of his or her life.

Once you’ve made the decision to hire someone to help take care of your elder and determined what level of help is required, the next step is to interview applicants. Always consider several candidates for the job. It’s the best way to find a good match. When interviewing prospects, ask the following questions:

Many of us have to ask ourselves this question in the face of our elder care duties: Can I do it all myself? Chances are, the answer is no. The first thing you must do is figure out exactly what kind of help you need. Often, your elder’s needs (as well as your own) can be met by tapping into your network of family and friends. Look into this before you hire anyone. Ask who’s available to help in your network. Don’t be afraid to ask. Some family and friends can offer financial help, transportation, food, cooking skills, or legal expertise.

There never seem to be enough hours in the day. If you are a caregiver, you know this better than anyone, for your schedule is not your own. Yet, I have heard many of my elderly clients say, “You must make the time because it is important to your well-being.” Here are some suggestions I have learned along the way that might bring some “oxygen” to your life, so you can breathe again.

Caregiving—by older women, for older women: The new report Caregiving in the U.S. 2009, sponsored by the National Alliance for Caregiving, AARP, and MetLife (and funded by MetLife), is a comprehensive survey of 1,480 caregivers, defined as those age 18 and over who provide unpaid help to another person. The most intriguing aspect of the study is the comparison to the last published version from 2004.

Physical abuse is a pattern of coercive control, or an act or threatened act of violence. Often, the victim is not only physically harmed but is also rendered dependent, helpless, and fearful. Emotional and psychological abuse frequently attends the physical violence.

Abusers often leave telltale signs of physical and emotional maltreatment:

The most common form of elder abuse is neglect. Your state’s criminal statutes likely prohibit a pattern of conduct that deprives someone of some necessity for physical or mental health. We all need food, water, shelter, appropriate heating or cooling, and medical services to maintain health. Caregivers who consistently fail to deliver these things are abusers.

Telltale signs of neglect