The New “Female Problem”

Caregiver stress affects women in the workplace

In the halls of the nation’s businesses, the hushed whispers once reserved for gossip and Monday morning quarterbacking now echo the despair that stressed-out women are feeling in their role as caregivers. While a growing percentage of today’s caregivers are men, the role is still largely filled by women. Male management does not have the tools to adequately discuss and remedy what could be considered the new “female problem” in the workplace.

An individual’s face may not readily give away clues of caregiver stress, but a quick look at that employee’s attendance record will reveal absenteeism caused by caring for an aging loved one. Another clue is that the employee has been submitting health care benefit claims for stress-related disorders, including doctor visits and prescription orders. Read More >>

Taking Care of Business

Forward-thinking employers would do well to offer resources to caregiving workers

With the first of the baby boomer generation turning 60, the “silver tsunami” is upon us, and working caregivers are being faced with the added responsibility of caring for aging parents or other loved ones. What was once referred to as the “sandwich generation” is now becoming the “club sandwich generation.” Those in the 35–55 age group are sandwiched between caring for their own families and assuming the responsibility of caring for aging parents, grandparents, or aunts and uncles—all while working full time.

Balancing the responsibility has become a juggling act. Deciding between attending a child’s final soccer game and taking an elderly loved one to a medical appointment is stressful, a decision that tugs at the hearts of caregivers. Days grow longer as the nights grow shorter.

Although statistics show the burden of caregiving still falls on the woman in the family, the number of men in this role is increasing steadily, with a 60-40 ratio of female-male caregivers.
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New Tool Helps Manage Multiple Meds

Identify potential drug interactions

Move over “aging in place” and make room for “polypharmacy,” the newest buzz phrase in the senior services industry. Polypharmacy generally refers to the use of multiple medications by a patient, often when they are not clinically warranted. Many seniors have multiple physicians who might not be aware of all the medications each patient is taking. When a new prescription is written without that knowledge, harmful drug interactions or changes in effectiveness could occur.

Polypharmacy is most common among people over age 65. Approximately one-fifth of them take at least 10 medications a week. The Institute of Medicine estimates that at least 1.5 million adverse drug events occur in the United States every year, thousands of them fatal. Studies indicate that about one-third of these drug reactions among senior citizens—and 42% of serious, life-threatening, or fatal events—are preventable.
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You May Be Eligible for Aid and Attendance Benefits

VA calls it one of the department’s most underutilized offerings

The veterans of our country are entitled to health benefit programs from the federal government. However, few take advantage of the Non-Service Connected Improved Pension Benefit, commonly referred to as the Aid and Attendance benefits program. The program’s purpose is to assist veterans, as well as their spouses or widows, with paying their out-of-pocket medical expenses.

Veteran Affairs (VA) considers the program one of the department’s most underutilized offerings. Here’s why: most veterans do not know about it or how to apply. Read More >>

Does the Buck Stop Here?

If your parents’ money is disappearing, you need to intervene

Often, an Aging with Grace eldercare specialist will be asked, “If I sign the monthly agreement for my parents’ assisted living community, will I be responsible if they run out of money?” The answer is no. Debt is nontransferable from your parents to you, even if you are the person designated with power of attorney. The exception would be if you co-signed a bank loan, auto loan, or something similar that would list you as co-debtor.

Speaking with parents about their finances often makes us uncomfortable. I was raised in a family where money was never discussed in front of the kids. Let’s face it: many of us don’t want to engage in the money conversation with our spouse, let alone our dad! However uncomfortable the subject might be, it is necessary. Read More >>

Octogenarian Salsa Dancer

Never underestimate an old gal!

If you don’t think you can dance into your 80s—or if you can and would like to see some impressive moves—get a load of this grandma spinning and dipping in a blaze of salsa dancing. Read More >>

Forgiveness Is Not Always Easy

True forgiveness requires honesty

As a fan of the show ER from the very first episode, I was of course glued to the TV for the finale. If you were one of the many who tuned in for the last episode, you were more than likely touched by the scene between the elderly couple who had known each other since first grade. The tenderness of the scene where the husband asks the emergency room doctor to do something, to do more, brought tears to my eyes.

However, what made the tears flow down my cheeks was the scene of the daughter telling the emergency room nurse that she couldn’t remember why she was estranged from her mom and that of course “now it really doesn’t matter because she’s dying.” What this scene was conveying in a very poignant way is to treat everyone like it is their last day with you. Read More >>

The Real Cost of Free Advice

Free Web sites are often a gravy train for eldercare service providers

During these tough economic times, more and more stressed caregivers are gravitating to the Web for help and guidance. With the plethora of “free” Internet referral, placement, and resource directories for families in search of eldercare products, home care services, and assisted living facilities, it is important to know exactly how these businesses make their money and how it might affect you and your loved one in the end.

Yes, Web sites do provide help at no charge; however, these sites receive money from service providers if they get business from the referral. Since most employees of these sites work on a commission basis, it stands to reason that most will refer caregivers to providers who have paid the site a fee, rather than to providers who offer the services best suited to your loved one’s needs. Read More >>

How a Simple Word Can Take Us Back…

What words take you back in time?

Just as music can take us back to different times in our lives, so can words.

Last week, I walked into my favorite nail salon to get a mani/pedi, and sitting there waiting was an elderly woman and her middle-aged daughter. I’m guessing that the woman was mid-80s and the daughter late 50s or early 60s. As I was “soaking,” I overheard the mom say to the daughter, “When we leave here, I want to go to Macy’s and get a housecoat.”

I started to chuckle. The word housecoat immediately catapulted me back to my teen years, when I would run down the stairs in my underwear (at that time, underwear consisted of a bra, underpants, girdle, pettipants, and a slip—don’t ask!) to iron a white, oxford, button-down, collared blouse to wear under my V-neck sweater with my pleated skirt. If you’re a woman in your late 50s or early 60s, you are likely smiling and remembering this scene in your own life! Read More >>

Quality of Life: Rudy’s Story

Develop and maintain hobbies and interests early in life

Throughout the years of working in the eldercare industry, I have had the good fortune to meet a handful of people who have positively impacted my life on both a personal and professional level. The lessons I learned from them have changed my view on my own “golden” years and the true meaning of the quality of life.

One person who stands out the most is my beloved Rudy. He and his longtime companion, Helena—after spending the previous 40 years living in an apartment in New York City in a neighborhood laden with crime and danger—reluctantly agreed to move to a senior living community after much pressure from both their families.

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