Sometimes We Learn in Unexpected Places
How have you spent your dash?
The invitation came from the residential care facility that my brother-in-law lived in until his death just over a month ago. It was on beautifully decorated sepia paper and typed in formal script. Families and friends of recently deceased residents were invited to a Friday afternoon “Remembrance Service” in the Community Room, “in celebration of those we love.” The invitation stated, “We will honor our memories of them with music, verse, and a special candlelight ceremony.” We were touched by the invitation, so we forwarded copies to other family members, hoping that they, too, would attend.
When we arrived at the facility and made our way to the designated room, we were impressed with the arrangement. About 50 chairs were set up theater style. Elaborate food and drinks were arranged on buffet tables. An easel stood near the entrance with photographs and short biographies of those whose lives were being celebrated. My brother-in-law’s smiling picture, with him in his bright blue shirt, was especially cheery. At the front of the room, a guitarist, sitting on a high stool, strummed soft music, while other staff people stood near a table with four candles and a beautiful bouquet of roses on it. Each staff person greeted each guest as we took our seats.
A nicely printed program waited on each chair. In the program, the service was outlined, the names of the late residents being honored were listed, a prayer was printed, as was the Four Candle Ceremony, and there were appropriate words of thanks and recognition for the chaplain, musician, and staff. A staff member approached me and asked if I would light the third candle, the Memory Candle, and recite the words for that candle that were written in the program: “This third candle will light the memory of the times we laughed and the times we cried; and the times we were angry; and the times we rejoiced together.” I said yes, of course.
