Transitioning

I believe that we achieve the most growth in the transition periods between our developmental stages. As painful as transitions might feel, these periods can be our most creative.

What is a transition? A transition is a passage from one place to another—a conversion, a becoming, a transformation, a breakthrough, a new beginning. It is not just another moment in time. Transition is a process that can last for months or even years. Regardless of the length of time, it takes four steps to negotiate a major life transition.

Draw a circle on a piece of paper, and divide the circle into four quadrants. This practical transition model, with each quarter symbolizing one step in the transitioning process, was developed by my colleague Jill Mattuck Tarule in 1978.

Step 1: Diffusion, which occurs when we begin to feel a bit confused and lose our sense of equilibrium

Step 2: Dissonance, which occurs when we begin to feel out of sync with our environment

Step 3: Differentiation, when we begin to redefine our situation and start to take action in new directions

Step 4: Coherence, when we really understand our new circumstances and begin to truly reinvent the next stage of our lives

Our third third transition starts at the beginning of this stage, at about age 60, and is an especially challenging one. It is not only the time that we begin to adjust to our last third of life, but there may be a number of subtransitions ahead, such as retirement, active maturity, a slowdown of activity, perhaps chronic illness, and maybe even acute illness or disability.