Courtesy of Minding Our Elders

Dear Carol: My dad has in-home care during the day. The caregivers seem fine, and he likes them, but I’m annoyed because whenever I stop in they are talking to friends on their cell phones. I know Dad’s not good company, but that shouldn’t give them an excuse to spend their time talking on their phones. What about this? —Tracy

Dear Tracy: People hire in-home caregivers to care for their loved ones with the idea that the full attention of the caregiver is on the elder. Whether or not the elder is “good company” isn’t the issue. In my view, a caregiver constantly chatting on his or her cell phone isn’t much better than one my neighbor had many years ago who slept during her night shift.

I contacted Home Instead Senior Care, a national chain of franchises, and asked about their policy for cell phone usage. Below is a paragraph from Home Instead’s employee manual:

This sounds like a reasonable policy to me. Certainly, an emergency call should be permitted. Life happens to everyone. However, chatting on a cell phone for entertainment purposes should not be permitted. It distracts the caregiver from the client, and the noise of the chatter could be very disturbing to a person with dementia.

The bottom line, Tracy, is that you have every right to be concerned. If you are comfortable talking with the caregiver directly, and she is otherwise a good fit for your dad, you could mention to her that you have a problem with the cell phone chat. If the constant chatting doesn’t stop, you should notify the caregiver’s supervisor. This is unprofessional behavior that could have serious consequences for an unsupervised elder with dementia.

The best care for dementia patients is often one-on-one attention. This time should be used to interact with your dad. Perhaps they could look at family photos or go for a walk if he likes that. People with dementia respond to human attention. That is what your dad’s caregiver is there for. It’s up to you to make some noise so he gets the attention he deserves.