Courtesy of JewishSacredAging.com

One of the challenges of our generation of caregivers is that you never know when a call will come.

The night before Rosh Hoshonna this year, I was settling in after a day of preparation. The sermons were written, and I was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I was nursing a Diet Coke, at about the eighth inning of the Phillies game, when the phone rang. It was my mom's assisted living facility. When the voice you hear begins the conversation with, "Hello, this is the nurse," the odds are that it is not a good sign. My mom, who is 94+, had fallen. The fall had been witnessed by a worker who had come to give her some medication. Now Mom was balking at being taken to the hospital to make sure there were no aftereffects.

Many of us have gotten this call. For some reason, it seems to come at night! What to do when your parent refuses to go to the hospital? Is his or her right to make a decision the controlling factor? Or is there a higher value?

I have power of attorney for my mom, and I explained that her refusal could put her in danger. You have had similar conversations. The higher value is always the health and safety of the loved one. In this case, it seemed pretty clear: the possibility of head injury or some residual effect of the fall required a trip to the ER. Thankfully, after several hours in the ER and a battery of tests, we were able to take Mom back to her apartment.

Her only request was a turkey hoagie.

The suddenness of falling is scary. No matter how "fall proof" you make a room or facility, you cannot take into consideration every random movement, or the possibility that your loved one will attempt to move an item without using his or her walker, or myriad other scenarios.

It is always a good idea to have a plan in place, to discuss procedures with the facility in which a loved one resides, or to have emergency plans if that person lives alone (personal emergency response pendants, etc.). Having power of attorney is crucial. It is not a removal of dignity or independence for the frail elderly; rather, it can be a vital aspect of extending their longevity. The stresses and strains in caregiving are known to many of us. The higher value must always be the health and safety of the person we are caring for.

Have a sweet and healthy new year.