Here's the Thing

“We’d help DJ with his homework, but there are just so many good things on TV,” said Rosanne at her son's parent-teacher conference.

My mother fell and broke her other hip last week. The event came as a surprise—not that such events are ever expected. Usually, all plans come to a screeching halt when a family member is rushed to the hospital and has surgery the next day.

Mom was admitted to the hospital at 7:00 Friday night. I was told that the surgeon might not want to operate; he might “just make her comfortable if she’s not walking anyway.” I took that to mean administration of pain medication on a regular basis as she sat immobile in her wheelchair. Mom could bear weight after recovering from her broken left hip, and I was sure she could return to that status if the now-broken right hip was pinned, so I said, “No, we gotta fix the hip.”

The surgeon called later that Friday night. He told me that he planned to operate at 9:30 the following morning and that the operation would take about 20 minutes. Was I going to be there when he finished the surgery?

“Well . . . here’s the thing,” I said. “I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning at 9 that has taken me weeks to schedule, and I’m going on vacation next week.” He laughed and told me that he would call when he got out of the hip-pinning surgery.

On the one hand, I thought I should be there. What if she doesn’t make it out of surgery? On the other hand, she probably would, and if she didn’t, what difference would it make if I were there at the moment of death or 30 minutes later? Was I being selfish? Shallow? Uncaring?

I decided to keep the hair appointment. The surgeon called right after the operation and said that the surgery went fine and Mom was doing well. I went to the hospital directly from the salon, and she was resting comfortable. My hair looked great. Love the win-win.