Courtesy of M.J. Ryan

When it comes to staying in your home as you age, you need to think as widely as possible about your options. There may be adaptations you can make or compromises you’ve never even considered. It’s so easy to think we have no choice—“I have to leave”—or to get stuck between two—“Either I live alone or move to a retirement facility.” However, there are always more than two alternatives, despite the left hemisphere of the brain’s tendency to think in either/or terms. In fact, the Native Americans believe that if you haven’t considered seven ways of dealing with something, your thinking is incomplete.

So, in the spirit of that advice, here are my top seven ways to find creative solutions to meet your needs. You can use these techniques whenever you find yourself thinking, “I have no choice,” or “I have to do this because it’s the lesser of two evils.” Since we’re all unique, one or another of them may work best for you. If one doesn’t help, try another. And if you really want to expand your thinking, try them all, and then see what you learned as a result.

1. Ask your future self for help. Imagine it’s a year from now and you’ve dealt with the situation in such a way that you are really satisfied. Your future self has lived through this moment and is wiser for it. That future self comes back to this moment to tell you something you need to know to get from here to there. What does he or she say?
2. Think of the wisest person you know. What would he or she tell you to do?
3. What advice would you give someone else in your situation? Are you willing to take your own advice?
4. Imagine it’s 10 days from now. How would you respond to the situation? What if it were 10 months? Ten years?
5. Try the Native American approach. What are seven ways to respond to what’s happening?
6. If you didn’t worry about anyone else’s approval or opinion, what would you do?
7. If you feel like you don’t know what to do, ask yourself this: If I did know, what would I do? Keep asking until you give yourself an answer.