Courtesy of M.J. Ryan

Moving from one home to another is such a big transition. It’s more than just a change in physical location. Are you embracing this change with enthusiasm or fear? Perhaps a little of both? Let’s first look at how to cope with fear and then how to generate more excitement.

Taming fear

Recently, I read an article by Ruth Buczynski, president of the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. She wrote, “Fear means that the brain perceives that it doesn't have the resources it needs to handle a given situation.” That’s it exactly, I thought. We become afraid when we don’t believe we can cope.

That’s why it’s so important to assess your resources for dealing with a move. One of the benefits of age is that you have accumulated a treasure trove of knowledge and experience between your ears. The key to accessing those riches is to ask yourself three important questions:

• When I’ve faced challenges before, what’s helped me cope? We often forget past strategies of success that can help us now.
• What inner resources of mind, body, and spirit have I grown in my life? For instance, are you more patient, generous, kind, and/or resourceful than when you were younger? Whatever qualities you now have, ask yourself how they can help make this change.
• What kind of support do I need from others, and where can I find it? Social psychologists say people can give us three kinds of help: tangible support (e.g., lifting boxes, preparing meals), advice and assistance with problem solving, and empathetic listening. Think about which you need most right now and who might be able to offer it. In studies of resilience, it’s been shown over and over that people who thrive reach out and ask others for help. They’re not afraid to admit they need assistance, and they’re good at selecting people to befriend them.

Looking forward

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve lived in a place for decades or only a year. Moving always represents the end of one phase of your life and the start of another. That means it’s a great chance to reflect on the kind of future you want to create:

• What do I want to leave behind as I go?
• What do I want to take with me?
• What is it too late for?
• What is it too soon for?
• What is it just the right time for?

Don’t worry! There’s no way to be wrong when you answer these questions. They’re purposely “big” in order to put you in touch with your deepest wisdom about your life’s journey and help you consult with the greatest expert on you—yourself. That’s why I’m not even going to give you some example answers. Trust that whatever comes into your head is the perfect right answer for you as you look to create the next phase of your life.

Your future is calling you!