How to Help Aging Parents
Options to nursing homes include caregivers and assisted living.
For more than a year, Alice Mazmanian has been happy at Silverado Senior Living in Costa Mesa. At least, Mazmanian, who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease, seems happy - and that's what counts to her family.
"She just couldn't stay at home anymore," her son, Victor, says about his mother, 83. He also acknowledges his mother's battle with dementia - which changed her life - has profoundly altered his future.
Once he was the proud third-generation head of the family's trash removal business, then a mortgage banker. Today, he is a paid consultant to families needing to care for a loved one with Alzheimer's and he also volunteers at Saddleback, Mariner's and other churches in Orange County where he conducts support groups helping caregivers cope with the challenges of elder care - particularly Alzheimer's.
"The need is so great," he says. "So many, many people are caught up in care-giving. The story never seems to end."
The Signals
Holidays often are the time when adult children notice a change in their parents' lifestyle. Often the change is a red flag signaling it's time to step in and, perhaps, take over. "We're talking changes in the parents' appearance or the home's appearance," says Laurie Dobies of La Habra-based Home Instead Senior Care, which provides trained caregivers and companionship for seniors.
"Maybe it's clutter or spoiled food in the refrigerator. Maybe they can't stand long enough to prepare a meal or they're afraid of falling.
"Common sense things aren't being done and that's a signal the parent needs help." So there's the signal. But how do we respond?
"Everyone usually starts by talking about nursing homes because, at one time, that's all that was around," Dobies says. "But now there are so many, many options."
Often some help with housework, shopping or personal care may be all an aging parent needs. Others have health issues but may still remain in their home with caregivers who remind them when to take medications and provide some other assistance. Still others may have to move out of their homes into assisted living for required care and supervision.
