Courtesy of JewishSacredAging.com

Moving a parent into an assisted living facility is not for sissies! We did this last weekend. Last month I mentioned that this major life change was coming, and it is now a reality. I teach the Jewish approaches to this event, and I can tell you it is much easier to teach it than it is to live it. In the middle of the drama is the overwhelming sense of major change that is being encountered by the entire family. It is not just a mom or dad who is impacted—it is the family, as each generation moves up the life-span ladder. It was unnerving to be there as the movers emptied one apartment and moved Mom into her new residence, because I had fleeting thoughts that this could possibly be me! The second day in Mom’s new home brought one of those “moments.” Her grandchildren came to visit. There we were, three generations and aware that a fourth was about to join us, as my daughter is about to give birth to what will be a great grandchild. The life span! New life, transitions, and change. All in that room were joined with feelings of hope, anxiety, and a little prayer that all these transitions would proceed as smoothly as could be.

I was also reminded that this move was taking place on the eve of April, in which two of the world’s major religious traditions celebrate what for them is their major holiday. For the Christian world, Easter symbolizes rebirth, renewal, and the possibility of transformation. Judaism celebrates the Passover holiday, whose themes also include the possibilities of growth, change, renewal, and transition. Both involve struggle, and both traditions see, in their own way, the power of having faith in an uncertain future.

Many of us are involved in negotiating aspects of caregiving. It is often a struggle to decide when or how, or if, we may need to move someone into that next place of residence. Yet, there is a message I think that can be taken from the religious festivals that come up this month. There is this sense that all of this is, in a way, natural. It is the progress of time, of life, and of the generations. It may be the tableau that presents itself to us when we gather around the table for Easter dinner or Passover Seder. The gathering of generations, the richness of the stories that are present, and the reality that time is so precious and life is such a gift that we need to renew our commitment to honor and respect each moment and phase of life’s journey.

So here is a small and modest suggestion for the holidays that are about to unfold. As you gather around the table for whatever holiday or festival you may celebrate, be it religious or not, take a few moments to go around the table and ask those present to tell their story. No, not the story of their life, but maybe, to take a moment to share with those assembled, one moment from the past year that brought meaning and joy into their life, a moment that enhanced their sense of their own existence. In doing so, you may create an instant community the likes of which may never have been present and at the same time, bring honor to a moment, a memory, and another human being.

Rabbi Richard F. Address, DMin