Courtesy of Amara Rose

By Amara Rose

            "And in the end,
            the love you take
            is equal to the love
            you make."

                  —The Beatles

On September 4, my dear friend Ellie, who has known me all my life, will celebrate her 96th birthday.

Ellie has long been a surrogate grandma to Leela ("her parents pretty much gave her to me," to mentor as a grandchild) and the adopted mother of "lots of young people in their 50s."

Everything is a matter of perspective. She and her husband Ira (who transitioned 20 years ago) never had children, but to hear Ellie talk about her extended family, both blood relations and heart relations, you wouldn't know it. We have our biological family and then the family we create, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with marriage certificates or natal bonds.

She has been a spiritual beacon for me, someone who embodies the wisdom of all the great teachers and healers down through the ages. Ellie is an elder in the truest sense: one who radiates the love in her heart so consistently and completely that, far from being alone and forgotten in the sunset of her life, she is surrounded by friends and "chosen family" members who cherish her and are eager to include her in their activities.

She's an elegant embodiment of Bruce Lipton's book The Biology of Belief: scientific confirmation that our attitudes and thoughts create our physical reality as surely as the state of our health affects our thoughts. Sustained by her abiding faith in God and her love for humanity, Ellie exudes light and laughter and can still negotiate three flights of stairs to retrieve her mail every day.

When Ellie was 90, one young friend taught her to use a computer; at 91, she sent me her first email. I tried to phone her one Sunday and got a busy signal for an hour. I couldn't believe she'd be on the phone that long; then I realized she must be online! Sure enough, when I finally got through, she exclaimed, "Oh, Amara! I was playing solitaire." I should've asked whether she’d won.

This is the kind of elder I want to become. But beyond that, this is the kind of person I want to be now: someone who greets each day with wonder and gratitude, keen to give it her best and create a little more beauty in the world.

Ellie told me she is contemplating death, but not with any sense of morbidity. "At my age, you know, I have to start thinking about it," she says matter-of-factly. She assures me she isn't afraid or concerned; on the contrary, she feels death will be "awesome." She uses the word in its original sense: full of awe, something to be anticipated as the next grand adventure for one who's lived a full and fulfilling life and is ready to see what's ahead.

I asked her if she'd come visit me from beyond the veil and give me a sign that she's here. She promised to seriously consider my request and get back to me. I will be privileged to have this soul smiling on me from the astral plane, as I have been honored to know her on Earth.

She is one shining example of the Love we make.