For people who have lost a loved one, through death, divorce or even
relocation, big holidays throughout the following year often prove painful and
difficult. Rituals that brought joy in years past serve instead as stark
reminders of missing loved ones.

“Holidays can reawaken the grieving process,” says Marianne Wamboldt, MD,
Director of the Center for Stress and Anxiety Disorders at National Jewish
Medical and Research Center. “It can be extremely painful. But there are ways to
cope, things you can do to get through the holidays and even to find comfort.”

• Don’t ignore your grief: Many people try to bury their
  grief and generate false cheer during an inevitably sad time. But that is the
  worst thing you can do, says Dr. Wamboldt. Grief must have its due. Ignoring the
  loss will not make it go away; it will only prolong the pain. Acknowledge that
  holidays during the first year will be difficult and take that into account when
  making plans. Think about simplifying your holiday plans and scaling back on
  potentially stressful activities.
• Remember: Set aside some time to remember the lost loved
  one. When stockings are hung, during a special meal, or at some other holiday
  gathering, give people a chance to talk about fond memories and sad feelings.
  Like a mini-wake or funeral, this can help people grieve and move on. But try to
  contain this activity to a limited time period so that mourning doesn’t
  overwhelm the entire holiday.
• Start a new ritual: A new ritual can serve as a positive
  way to remember and honor the lost loved one. Give something back to your
  community with a donation or a volunteer effort. Or participate in a family
  activity. Dr. Wamboldt says her family assembled a puzzle in the week between
  Christmas and the New Year in the first year after her grandmother died and have
  done it every year since. Working on the puzzle serves as an easy way for family
  members to spend time together, keeping busy with their hands and talking if
  they want or just quietly being together. Several years later, it is an
  enjoyable ritual that brings their grandmother to mind because they started it
  the year she died.