“The more couples spend and lose in the stock market, the more they fight,” says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist with the Methodist Hospital in Houston who has been counseling more and more couples who find that anxiety over their economic situation threatens the long-range outlook of their lives together.

“The bickering can put a huge strain on a marriage,” she says. “Stress and anxiety can erode trust between partners, especially if one misunderstands why the other is acting distant or distracted.”

The key to getting through this crisis is to realize that the financial problems are not going to go away overnight and to communicate your fears. If you’re too angry to talk, write a note and talk later. Keeping feelings inside only harbors resentment in the long run and, in many cases, leads to cheating and/or divorce.

Rapini suggests some ways couples can get through a bumpy economy:

• Don’t panic. If you take your money out now, there will be penalties. Consider the long-term view.
• Cut family expenses. Sit down with your spouse and find three expenses you can cut back on. This will end up making your bond stronger.
• Eat at home/exercise together. Eating at home costs less and is healthier. Take a bike ride or walk with your spouse and talk. This is a great way to promote togetherness.
• Set small realistic goals. Take a few dollars from each of your paychecks and start putting away a little money now for a family vacation.
• Entertain at home. Having friends over, as opposed to going out to a restaurant or club, is much cheaper and, most of the time, more fun.