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When someone has a medical
crisis, we know what to do. We call, we visit, we offer help, we bring food.
When someone dies, again we call the bereaved, visit, offer help, and bring
food. But the long years of chronic illness and slow decline are difficult
territory for friends, who must inevitably return to their own families. The
caregivers, then, are left with handling an enormous task that can quickly
become overwhelming and isolating.

Emotionally, caregiving involves worry, exhaustion, and guilt. With holes in
the long-term care system, part of the job involves deciphering medical bills,
on top of paying everyday bills, and learning what kind of help might be
available through government and private organizations. And then, of course,
there are the physical needs of the ailing person that might change from day to
day.

All of the demands can be too much for adult children trying to juggle their
own children and career, or for elderly spouses who might be dealing with health
problems of their own or are simply not equipped to handle this responsibility.
Families that are spread out struggle to do what’s right. And the availability
of public services can vary, depending on the size of the community. Faced with
constant decision making and stress, the caregiver’s world can become very
isolated.

Family service organizations, churches, and synagogues have begun grappling
with how to understand and support caregivers. The community’s goal should be to
not let the caregiver disappear. If families are having to coordinate care
across hundred or thousands of miles, offer to help coordinate visitations.
Offer to drive or shop for the caregiver. Try and convince the caregiver to
accept help, even if it’s only for a few hours a week. You can help the
caregiver find professional geriatric case managers or trained volunteers who
can assist. Getting out on occasion will enable the caregiver to enjoy a brief
break from all the responsibilities.

The following is a list of programs and services designed to assist
caregivers, family members, and family friends.

Children of Aging Parents (CAPS)
www.caps4caregivers.org
(800)
227-7294
Assists caregivers of the elderly with information and referrals, a
network of support groups, and publications and programs that promote public
awareness of the value and the needs of family caregivers.

Well Spouse Association
www.wellspouse.org
(800)
838-0879
A national membership organization that gives support to husbands,
wives, and partners of the chronically ill and/or disabled. Well Spouse has a
network of support groups and a newsletter for spouses.

Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA)
www.caregiver.org
(800)
445-8106
This California agency established the National Center on
Caregiving, which serves as a central source of information on caregiving and
long-term care issues. At the FCA’s Web site, you can find articles and other
publications on caregiving, such as the Handbook for Long-Distance Caregivers.

National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA)
www.thefamilycaregiver.org
(800)
896-3650
NFCA has developed an educational workshop to teach family
caregivers to communicate more effectively with health care professionals. Visit
this Web site to find out if there are workshops scheduled in your community.

Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving
www.rosalynncarter.org/caregiver%20resource%20center/
(229)

928-1234
The institute works to establish local, state, and national
partnerships committed to building quality long-term care systems and providing
greater recognition and support for America’s caregivers. The site offers
information on publications, workshops, and other pertinent programs as well as
links to related Web sites.