Courtesy of JewishSacredAging.com

I have had the privilege, in recent weeks, of teaching in a wide variety of places across the United States. In the most recent venues, Seattle, Kansas City and Phoenix, the requested subject has all revolved around the issue of how we take care of loved ones. I do this work for the Union for Reform Judaism and our project on Sacred Aging. The issue of care-giving continues to be the most requested session. People seem to want to know how their religious tradition can be of support and guidance in this challenging life stage. For "boomers", we can certainly understand the times in which we are living to be an age of care-giving. And, if statistics are to be believed, this age is just beginning. There are a wealth of books, sites and supports now available for care-givers. Yet, as many of us know, despite all this is available, much of this is done alone. Too often, we will be the one who drives a parent to the doctor's appointment, or waits with a loved one for some support, or makes sure we visit the nursing home. All of this, while still juggling our own job, family and life demands.

What has been stated continually in my sessions by those who come, is the element of faith that is present in these situations. It is a faith that often people did not know they had, for it is a faith that is not confined to the routine of worship service at a fixed time. No, this is a faith that what they are doing matters, that its impact on the person being cared for has meaning, and that, in some small way, some sense of comfort, peace and support is realized. There is great agreement among traditions on this subject. One of the recent trips took me to teach at Shawnee Mission Hospital, a Seventh Day Adventist facility in Overland Park, KS. This hospital had raised the presence of faith to a major level. The group I met with consisted of physicians, chaplains, nurses and social workers. The assigned topic was to look at how care-giving is different when it is one of your own family. Again, in the discussion that followed, there was the understanding that the power of one's faith, no matter what the tradition, can be of tremendous assistance.

Each tradition has much to say about caring for people, be they parents, spouses, extended family or children. The power of one's presence can often be part of a healing process. Indeed, in the Jewish tradition, there is a saying that when one visits a sick person, one removes a part of that illness. Presence is power! There is much that is evolving in our generation's approach to this issue. The longevity revolution has brought about the reality that issues of care-giving for parents will replace child care concerns as the number one family concern in the coming decades. For many of us, that reality is here. It is in that unfolding challenge of care-giving and in the new life stage of care-giver, that the role of faith can be of so much support. Faith in one's self, faith in the relationship that is involved and faith that, no matter the end game, this relationship is supported by a sense of love and respect.

In this uncertain journey that so many of us are on, I wish us all strength and peace.

Shalom,

Rabbi Richard F. Address, D.MIn
www.jewishsacredaging.com