How Do I Buy a Condo Without Hurting My Boyfriend’s Feelings?

Dear Ellie:

I have been going to a particular spot for vacation for a number of years now, and I really love it. During my last visit, I learned that the condo in which I stay is for sale. I’m interested in buying it, but I want to do that by myself, not jointly with the man I’ve been dating for a long time.

I am 62 years old, own my own home, and have been planning for my retirement for a few years. I think that I can afford the purchase, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings and have him think he is not wanted when we go together on vacation. How shall I handle this? Read More >>

Is It Wise to Go Back to School and Get a Doctorate?

Dear Ellie:

I’ve been thinking about going back to school to get my PhD for many years now. I have my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. I’m 62 years old and would like to teach when I retire. I own my own successful business in the field of rehabilitation and believe that I could design a few important courses that could help others to develop a business like mine that is in increasing demand in the field of health care.

Many of the schools I’ve looked into have very rigid requirements that seem irrelevant to me: foreign language proficiency for admission, four semesters of statistics for graduation—things like that.

Do you know of any schools where I could design my own doctoral degree program or that would be flexible in their requirements for admission and graduation?

 Read More >>

Should My Widowed Mother Live with Us or Stay in Her Home?

Dear Ellie:

My widowed 85-year-old mother lives all the way across the country in the home she has owned for more than 60 years. She is relatively well, with only a few chronic conditions associated with aging. My wife and I are becoming concerned about her living alone and being so far away. She visits us, and we visit her at least once a year. Our visiting time together is compatible, but we have never lived together in the same house or in the same town since we have been married. Read More >>

Usher in "Baby" Sister's 70th with a Party

Dear Ellie:

I am six years older than my sister. Because of our age difference, we were not very close when we were growing up. When she was an infant and toddler, I was off to school. By the time she started elementary school, I was busy becoming a teenager. When I was in high school, she was still in elementary school. Then I went off to college, and our parents soon divorced. She spent time with our father’s new family, and I did not. As adults, we have had very different lives, even though we live only about 30 minutes apart.

My “baby” sister is about to turn 70. She has faced a series of health problems, is divorced and self-supporting, and her children are not in a position to help her financially. Read More >>

Wife of Alzheimer’s Patient Needs Respite from Caregiving

Dear Ellie:

My husband of more than 50 years is experiencing the progressive symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. He spent his professional life as an attorney and was very active in our community. He served on many nonprofit boards and was elected chair of some of them. He is now unable to participate in most social, community, or professional activities.

I feel very sad for him. In order to keep my own sanity, I have been going to meetings and luncheons, and sometimes to evening events like concerts. I, too, am a retired attorney and simply must have some intellectual stimulation in my life. I feel really guilty about leaving him. What do you think I should do? Beatrice

Dear Beatrice:

I have watched many women struggle with longtime spouses who have developed Alzheimer’s or other kinds of neurological disorders. These circumstances present many complex challenges. Read More >>