The Wise and the Wary
Who can you trust? Deb hears this question over and over again in her professional practice as an elder law attorney and a fee-only, holistic financial planner. Let Deb teach you how to protect yourself and your assets from those who might not have your best interests at heart. [Editor's note: Deb no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
Near the End, It’s Too Late for Regrets
Acts of omission seem more troubling
My next few blogs address a crucial aspect of elder law. This won’t involve a discussion of trust law, probate procedures, Medicaid statutes, or IRS regulations. Instead, it involves my role as a counselor.
In my practice, I’m often in a position to comfort those who are near death. I want to share with you some of their thoughts and regrets. Maybe we can borrow some of their wisdom, learn from it, and act on it.
What do you think is the most common cause of regret for those folks: acts of commission (things they’ve done or said) or acts of omission (things they haven’t done or said)? For most, it’s acts of omission. Most people find it easier to forgive themselves for mistakes and errors in judgment. We’re fallible; we understand that. But it’s the acts of omission that are more troubling.
Now, there are different types of acts of omission. One is lost opportunities. Maybe we regret not going back for a master’s degree or not taking that Caribbean cruise with the family. Or maybe we regret failing to live up to others’ expectations—Mom wanted me to be a doctor, or Dad wanted me to finish that Eagle Scout project. We all feel that “woulda coulda shoulda” regret from time to time.
What I’m describing, however, are those acts of omission that truly cause anguish. It’s about things that I really intended to do or say—but never did. It’s unfulfilled intended action because of fear, neglect, or procrastination. More on that next week.
By Deborah Hoskins, JD, CFP
The Wise and the Wary Blog
Our Silver Advisors™ are professional geriatric care managers and other experts who provide phone consultations on preventing falls, navigating Medicare, evaluating senior driving challenges, and other issues baby boomers must resolve while caring for an aging loved one. Silver Advisors clarify concerns, suggest a plan of action, help prioritize next steps, and furnish personalized written plans and recommendations. All callers receive a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
What We Do
Silver Planet® helps baby boomers guide their parents to age in place by providing services and products related to aging at home and housing options.
