The Wise and the Wary
Who can you trust? Deb hears this question over and over again in her professional practice as an elder law attorney and a fee-only, holistic financial planner. Let Deb teach you how to protect yourself and your assets from those who might not have your best interests at heart. [Editor's note: Deb no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
If I Wind Up in a Wheelchair, My Life Is Over
Misconception #12 of "The 12 Biggest Misconceptions of Estate Planning Clients"
I am always amazed when a client comes out with the words, "If I have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, just shoot me." This kind of statement is the only one that causes me to have to bite my tongue, to control my impulse to preach! It's usually uttered by young or middle-aged, able-bodied clients when we are discussing medical durable power of attorney language. I understand that the flippant remark is an attempt at humor to diffuse the discomfort of contemplating their own certain (eventual) decline.
I say "certain" because, in time, physical frailty and mental decline will happen to all of us. It's only a question of when. Accidents, violent crime, and "acts of God" can accelerate the occurrence; only death can permanently stop it. These are harsh statements, but this is reality.
Currently, one in five Americans has a disability. At least 1.6 million of us use a wheelchair for mobility. I would wager that a vast majority of these people cherish life as much as the 300 million or more who don't use wheelchairs. How can I be this confident? Because they are no different than other Americans when it comes to the things that really matter: hopes, dreams, self-determination, independence, job skills, contributions to society, rich experiences, and loving relationships. Their need for a wheelchair does not define them any more than my need for eyeglasses defines me.
No one would dare ask someone in a wheelchair if she would prefer death. Yes, I know that the "just shoot me now" comment is only meant to be facetious, but that kind of language can only hurt and demean others. It can also infect your own attitude and assumptions about the value and humanity of others. George Orwell once said, "If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought." Be careful with your words!
By Deborah Hoskins, JD, CFP
The Wise and the Wary Blog
Our Silver Advisors™ are professional geriatric care managers and other experts who provide phone consultations on preventing falls, navigating Medicare, evaluating senior driving challenges, and other issues baby boomers must resolve while caring for an aging loved one. Silver Advisors clarify concerns, suggest a plan of action, help prioritize next steps, and furnish personalized written plans and recommendations. All callers receive a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
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