The Wise and the Wary
Who can you trust? Deb hears this question over and over again in her professional practice as an elder law attorney and a fee-only, holistic financial planner. Let Deb teach you how to protect yourself and your assets from those who might not have your best interests at heart. [Editor's note: Deb no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
Elder Abuse: Sexual
The real motive is power and control
Sexual abuse is any sexual contact without consent of both people. Sexual abuse may also include indecent exposure, sexual harassment, incest, and unwanted viewing of pornography. Here are some indicators:
- Torn, stained, or bloody underclothing
- Difficulty walking or sitting
- Pain, itching, bruising, or bleeding in the genital area
- Genital infections or newly diagnosed sexually transmitted diseases
- Self-loathing
- Acting fearful or intimidated
State laws may differ in the details, but all jurisdictions hold that only persons with mental capacity can give consent to sexual conduct. Severe mental illness or dementia would preclude consent in most cases.
Abusers nonetheless have their excuses. Here are some common justifications:
- She’s my wife, after all.
- He acted as if he liked it.
- She wants me to have a normal sex life.
- He likes watching pornographic movies with me.
- She came on to me.
The answer to all of these excuses is simple: if the person does not have mental capacity, the person cannot consent. End of story. As with other forms of abuse, the real motive is power and control, not sexual attraction. In any event, it’s criminal and should be reported immediately for the safety and dignity of the victim.
By Deborah Hoskins, JD, CFP
The Wise and the Wary Blog
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