Traveling with Young Adult Children: Is This Insanity?

Five secrets to creating positive memories

By Kim Kirmmse Toth, LCSW, CMC, ACC

Family vacations may have been wonderful when your kiddos were still little and you were in charge. You were definitely the parent, roles were defined, and everyone knew their place. Then, lo and behold, those youngsters grew up!

This changes many things in your life, but it’s the natural order of things. They grow up, and you become less of a parent and more of a friend, a comrade. You will always be their parent, but something has shifted and it may take some adjustment on your part.

If your child went off to college, you have already dealt with the separation and emotions that surround it. This may have been easier or more difficult than expected, but it happened nevertheless.

Hopefully, your memories of family vacations are ones of happiness and fun. Just because these little ones are out of the nest and grown doesn’t mean these cherished times together are over. There are ways of recreating the memories, but your plans may have to be different than you have been used to.

You will have your own unique family situation, but there are five secrets to ensuring a successful adventure together.

  • Secret #1: Catch them before they are so entangled in their own lives that they don’t have the time or energy to spend extended periods with you.
  • Secret #2: Include them in the trip planning. The more input they have into the itinerary, the more likely you are to create a journey to be remembered.
  • Secret #3: Design a vacation schedule that provides flexibility as well as structure. Understand how much must be planned in advance and how much can be created as you go. Too much of either may prove troublesome.
  • Secret #4: Respect your children and their differences. How much togetherness is going to work for each of you? Can you be together day and night and do well, or do you each need more time on your own?
  • Secret #5: Be straightforward about finances at the very beginning. How much will you pay for, and how much do you expect your young adult children to be responsible for? Just as you need to budget for a trip, they need to know very early on what their financial responsibilities are. This is not a time for surprises!

Planning a vacation with young adult children can be one of the best experiences you ever would have dreamed of. It takes planning, idea sharing, and mutual respect. Don’t just dream about doing this together—get a plan together and make it happen!

By Kim Kirmmse Toth
Retirement with Attitude Blog

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