Parenting Questions for Those with Adult Children

Yes, parents, they still need you

Your children are now adults. Does that mean that they don’t need you anymore? Of course not! They still need you, but in a different way than when they were little. So, are you prepared to parent a different way today than when you did in years past?

Here are seven questions to help you balance the letting go and the holding on.

• How are your listening skills? You gave them all kinds of good advice in the past. Now is the time to listen.
• Can you listen with your heart? This is a time to listen and not formulate your answers while they are talking.
• Can you listen with openness and acceptance? They will be more likely to talk to you if they believe you will not judge or criticize them.
• Can you have an available shoulder? They may not want your advice, just an ear. If you are not sure what they want, try asking them what they need right now from you.
• What do you have to offer apart from money? You have taught them to be independent and self-sufficient. Rescuing them with cash may not be the best solution. If you start, when do you stop? If money is necessary, make it a loan.
• How is your patience? They may not be putting all your wisdom to good use yet. Or, maybe they are, but not quite in the manner you had hoped for. It’s okay. Remember patience is a virtue, and everyone can learn from mistakes.
• How is your optimism? Your children will know if you trust them and are optimistic about their future. Your trust and optimism will boost their confidence to create their own best life.

You’ve given your children wonderful gifts of love, guidance, and support over the years. Your decisions may not have always been perfect, but hopefully love was sustained through it all. Have fun being the adult parent that your adult children still dearly need and love.

By Kim Kirmmse Toth
Retirement with Attitude Blog