Sara Myers

A Good Enough Daughter

As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]


Posted 03/13/2009

To Prepare for Old Age, Begin Taking Risks When You Turn 55

By Sara Myers

Old age is not for the faint of heart.

In old age, life changes come at us on a daily basis. We may end up moving from our home of many years into a strange place; in the spirit of “helping,” people we don’t know touch us in very personal places; and dozens of pills are shoved at us with little explanation of what they do or why we should take them. Paradoxically, all of these changes happen at a time in our lives when we are least capable of handling the stress of change.

So, it is my opinion that we should treat old age as if it were an event for which we must train.

To build confidence in our ability to weather changes, I think we should voluntarily assume risks when we hit age 55—and thereafter for as long as possible. I realize that one person’s risk is another person’s business as usual, so my definition of risk is not about danger, but about possibilities. I think we should take risks based on the possibility that we may get what we want, or find ourselves in new realms, or gain a fuller understanding of who we are. However, we may find disappointment—that’s the risk.

Here are a few examples of risk from my own life that I am considering:

  • Quitting my much-loved job, after 14 successful years
  • Moving to Mexico for three months, with very little money and without my dear husband, to become as fluent as possible in Spanish
  • Renting a van and driving to the Burning Man Festival held in the California desert, by myself
  • Embracing the fact that I am a flawed individual and giving up the tendency to judge others

I have not had first-hand experience with old age, but I think the more emotionally agile I am when I get old, the better prepared I will be to deal with the challenges. And I'll hope for a very kind and gentle daughter-in-law.

By Sara Myers
A Good Enough Daughter Blog

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