A Good Enough Daughter
As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
It’s Passover: How Do I Celebrate with Mom?
Her dementia complicates things
This week is Passover. My 91-year-old mother has celebrated it for the past 90 years. Now that she has moved to Seattle from Phoenix, where she lived for over 60 years, I don’t know how to handle Jewish holidays with her. Her dementia really complicates things. Should I do something to help recognize the holiday? Does she even care? I admit, I’m clueless what to do.
So, like millions of other people in the world who use computers and who are looking for something, I went to Google and entered “dementia passover.” Nothing good there. Then I put in “passover dementia.” Again, nothing straightforward. Finally, just out of curiosity, I entered “demented passover.” Google took me to some obscure Web site (from Germany, I think) that featured a video called “Demented Passover video – Manischewitzville.” Very strange.
I called the local temple, located a few blocks from my mom’s assisted living facility, to see if they were holding any services for Passover. I figured that I would drop in with Mom, stay a while, and call it good. Unfortunately, they will be closed for those two days. I guess everyone will be somewhere celebrating Passover.
I’ll call Jennifer, the manager of Gaffney House, where my mother lives, to see if she has any ideas. I’m guessing that it will be business as usual at Gaffney. With only 14 residents, they tend to be pretty low key with the holidays, especially with the Jewish ones.
I guess I’ll do what I usually do when I don’t know what to do: I’ll ask my mom. Tomorrow I’ll visit her and ask, “What would you like to do for Passover?” She’ll tell me. I probably should have done this weeks ago.
By Sara Myers
Good Enough Daughter Blog
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