A Good Enough Daughter
As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
Help! My Mother Is Dying of Boredom
Grateful for the care, yet . . .
My mother appears to be quietly fading. I understand the process of dementia, but she seems so vacant, partly because of the relentless boredom she lives with.
Gaffney House, which is licensed as an assisted living facility, not a nursing home, has been home to Mom for almost a year now. Overall, I think the staff does a remarkable job caring for very disabled people. Many residents have taken their last breath at Gaffney because ElderHealth Northwest (which manages Gaffney) maintains an admirable corporate philosophy embracing care to the end of life. So, I am grateful for the care . . . but the boredom.
Maybe I’m just making this all up on my head; after all, I’m only there once a week. I’m sure things are going on during the day, aren’t there? Doesn’t the license require some kind of activity program? Maybe when people advance in their dementia, they are happy to sit in a chair and sleep a lot. Besides, my mom is pretty cognitively impaired, aphasic, unable to talk. I’m not sure what she understands. What could she participate in? Must be something. Is it realistic to ask the staff to figure something out just for her? Is this just my hang-up?
So, readers, I know it takes a few minutes to sign up with Silver Planet in order to comment, but if you could do so (it’s easy), then give me some ideas based on your experience, I would really appreciate it. I know many of you have walked this path before.
I thank you in advance for your suggestions.
By Sara Myers
A Good Enough Daughter Blog
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