A Good Enough Daughter
As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
The Good Death
At peace, no regrets, nothing unsaid
My friend Millie was given less than six months to live. Her cancer has metastasized. I’m not sure exactly how old Millie is, but I guess she is somewhere in her mid-80s. By her own measure, she has lived a good life and is ready to go. Millie is a wonderful woman, warm and generous. She raised two charming daughters who will carry on her legacy of living a meaningful life.
Now that time is short, her friends and family are beginning to prepare for the inevitable. I’m a good friend of Millie’s daughters, and I can see, in some ways, that it’s easier to watch a mother go when the departure includes a series of long good-byes. My mother has been fading for about a year and a half, and I have had ample opportunity to recall the many occasions of caring motherhood and wise and supportive friendship. Each time I visit, I have a chance to show my love for her. I think it is more difficult when the time is short.
When Millie dies, the light of love will surround her. She will be ready to die, ready to see her long-departed son David, who died when he was still quite young. She will receive only appropriate medical care; her daughters will see to that. She will be at peace, no regrets, nothing unsaid.
Millie will have the good death.
By Sara Myers
A Good Enough Daughter Blog
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