Elderspeak: Another Manifestation of Ageism

Our reaction to aging is unhealthy

One reader responded to the previous blog with a comment that “most nurses and aides use goo goo baby talk” when caring for old people. Technically speaking, that’s called elderspeak—and it is more than annoying. It’s downright skin crawling. I know I’m not in the professional caregiving business, but why would someone to talk to another person like that?

Ageism is one reason.

The American reaction to aging is really quite unhealthy. By and large, we are freaked by the process of getting old, and we engage in all kinds of behavior in order to deny the fact that we are going to get old and eventually die; and, when we die, our life will end, terminado, fini. In my humble opinion, I think there is a relationship between Americans’ fear of dying and eventual oblivion and the extraordinary percentage of us who consider ourselves religious, the kind of religion that promises life after death. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against religion, and I do not claim to know what happens after a person dies. I just think that there is a connection. The hypothesis that describes this process is called Terror Management Theory.

Back to my point about elderspeak: One way we deal with our fear of dying is to treat old people as a different (from us) version of human, a less capable, less competent version. Elderspeak is another way to distance ourselves from thoughts of our own aging. “Honey,” “Dear,” “How are we doing today?” are just a few examples. 

The research is pretty clear: When care staff use elderspeak, residents react badly. It sends a message to the old person that is negative and belittling. Just about anyone who has worked in a nursing home will tell you, it’s common for residents to visibly react to elderspeak. I saw my mother grimace when elderspeak was used on her. So did I.

Sara Myers
A Good Enough Daughter Blog