Sara Myers

A Good Enough Daughter

As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]



Did I Move to Another Country?

By Sara Myers

Perhaps you have noticed that a large percentage of long-term care workers are immigrants. I expect that the countries of origin vary by state. In the state of Washington, caregivers are from Ethiopia and Somalia.

Reva, my 90-year-old mother, broke her other hip and spent a couple of weeks in a rehabilitation center. The rehabilitation was fine, but the place was a dump. I was shocked to see my mother placed in a three-bed room—an ancient, dilapidated three-bed room. The only explanation for such a decrepit wing is greed, since the place is a cash cow. But that’s another blog in itself.

The owner of the adult family home Rev was living in prior to breaking the hip refused to take her back because she did not want to deal with dementia-related behaviors such as sundowning (i.e., an increase in confusion and agitation in the late afternoon or evening). I had to find another place for my mom to live.

I moved Rev to Gaffney House, an assisted-living facility in Seattle. Built in the 1920s and specializing in dementia care, Gaffney House is a remodeled, 14-bedroom house formerly known as the Klein-Galland Mansion. Managed by ElderHealth Northwest, the House is staffed largely by immigrants from Africa. To a person, they are kind and friendly, qualities commonly found among ElderHealth staff. Rev feels very comfortable, well cared for, and safe.

One problem (for someone with dementia): Staff members look African, speak with accents, and sometimes speak to each other in their native language. Rev does not get out much these days, so she spends a lot of time with her caregivers. A couple of days ago, she asked me if she was now living in another country. She wanted to know if I had moved her to Africa. She was not unhappy or ill-at-ease, just curious.

Click here to learn more about ElderHealth Northwest and Gaffney House.

By Sara Myers
The Good Enough Daughter Blog

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