A Good Enough Daughter
As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
Agitation or Overmedication: Finding the Happy Spot
Comfortably numb
When I’m 90 years old, there’s a good chance that I will be demented and therefore, in all likelihood, agitated. When and if that time comes, I want to live out my life “comfortably numb.” Unfortunately, at age 90, that won’t be so easy.
At least 50% of those over age 85 live with some kind of dementia, and the percentage increases with age. While there are multiple causes (my 90-year-old mother’s dementia is secondary to diabetes), certain behaviors are common to the disorder. Agitation is one example.
Broadly speaking, agitation is emotional disturbance in the extreme. In my mom’s case, when agitated, she becomes angry, tearful, frightened, unable to sleep, and paranoid. She also tends to strike out at her caregivers. Clearly, she is very uncomfortable.
In an effort to keep my mom from becoming agitated, I am working with her doctor to find a drug regimen that will help her stay calm and allow her to sleep at night, but not drug her to the point of lethargy. It’s really about concocting the right drug cocktail. When I started walking down this road, I felt ill at ease drugging my helpless mother. But as the incidents of agitation and falls increased, I knew that we had to try the drugs.
It’s been about six months now since my mom has been taking mood-altering drugs. Finding the right dosages has been a real challenge because her body chemistry is so fragile—she weighs only 99 pounds. Sometimes a whole pill is not enough, and sometimes a half pill is too much.
I think the hardest part is feeling like a bad daughter, drugging my mother who is in no position to refuse. I take some comfort knowing that I’m trying my best to help my mom live out her life in peace.
If my mom could say so, she would say that’s good enough.
By Sara Myers
Good Enough Daughter Blog
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