A Good Enough Daughter
As a professional in the field of aging, Sara had seen it all—until her own mother broke her hip at the age of 88 and became profoundly confused, unable to live in her own home. Join Sara on her journey through the strangeness that is dementia while trying to make sense of it all and finding humor in the details. [Editor's note: Sara no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
At 57, I’m a Mirror Image of My 90-Year-Old Mother
It’s kind of weird. My mother is 90 years old and I’m only 57, but we look a lot alike. The resemblance is very strong. For years, strangers have approached me and said, “Oh, you must be Reva’s daughter. You look so much alike.” My mother told me that years back, while at an out-of-town airport, an unfamiliar woman approached her and asked, “Are you Sara Myers’ mother? You look exactly alike.”
I have always known that my mother and I look alike, but that realization really came alive in a rather bizarre way about six months ago. I was in the bathroom with my mother, helping her stand up after sitting on the toilet. There it was, her bare bottom. I looked at that 90-year-old tushee and thought to myself, “This is exactly how I’m going to look. This is me.” It was a little jarring.
Until last week, I wore my hair long. When I was contemplating style options, I asked my husband what he thought about a very short, sort of boyish haircut for me. His eyes got wide and the words flew out: “No! I don’t want to roll over in bed and see my mother-in-law sleeping next to me.” The message was startling but true.
I have often thought how terrible is would be to look like your mother and hate her. All kinds of conflicts must arise from that. Fortunately, I really like and admire my mother—and think she’s kind of cute. If she’s the 90-year-old version of me, that’s okay. At least I know where I’m going.
By Sara Myers
The Good Enough Daughter Blog
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