The Estate Lady
Julie Hall is an expert in dealing with personal property from the Depression era. Estate dissolution and helping grieving families make appropriate decisions during the estate settlement process are her specialties. She is a certified personal property appraiser, an estate sales professional, a residential content removal specialist, and a broker of fine items. As owner of The Estate Lady®, LLC, she brings 18 years of experience to families facing the overwhelming task of dissolving the family home.
The Irony of Heirlooms
Exiting the world the way we came into it
You can count on Murphy’s Law when dealing with heirlooms and dividing estate contents—something almost always goes wrong! I’ve had a front seat for nearly 20 years and seen more than my share of serious feuds, estrangements, the “entitlement mentality,” and the rapid gathering of vultures and other green-eyed creatures. Sibling rivalries, as well as tensions and emotions, are at an all-time high. The executor is generally stuck in the middle, reluctant to ruffle any feathers.
Often, certain family members enter the estate, take what they desire, and leave everyone else in the dark and empty-handed. We’ve all heard the scary stories. One brother locks the other brother out of the house and takes everything in the middle of the night. A sister helps herself to valuable jewelry without asking, or the long-lost sibling returns after 30 years to claim a chunk of the inheritance. All of these scenarios, plus so many more, add fuel to the fire and cause decades of resentment and bitterness.
We all have a connection to this particular issue because we have been through it, are preparing to go through it, or are dreading the very thought of it. Unfortunately, when a family member dies, or is approaching death, those who feel entitled come calling. Suddenly, previously unknown heirs and distant relatives surface, and true colors shine through in various shades of green.
Why does this occur over and over again? Is it because of perceived value from generations of family stories that one particular piece has tremendous monetary value? Is it over a sentimental item, like Mom’s reading glasses, a family Bible, or a wedding band? Do people want these items because they feel the loved one who died is still close by? Or is it plain old greed?
Here’s the irony: people are fighting over things they can’t take with them either. We exit this world the way we came into it, with no material possessions.
Read my solution to the irony of heirlooms in next week’s blog entry!
By Julie Hall
The Estate Lady Blog
[First posted January 4, 2010, at Julie Hall's Estate Lady Web site.]
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