Julie Hall

The Estate Lady

Julie Hall is an expert in dealing with personal property from the Depression era. Estate dissolution and helping grieving families make appropriate decisions during the estate settlement process are her specialties. She is a certified personal property appraiser, an estate sales professional, a residential content removal specialist, and a broker of fine items. As owner of The Estate Lady®, LLC, she brings 18 years of experience to families facing the overwhelming task of dissolving the family home.


Posted 06/17/2010

Estate Etiquette

Most feuds break out for four basic reasons

By Julie Hall

It’s an observation worth noting: when it comes to dividing heirlooms and estate contents, everyone tenses up and no one wants to be the first to talk. You can sense the apprehension in the room, and it appears as if everyone is trying to predict what others will do. Will my sister make a fuss? Will my brother want the same things I want, and if so, what do we do? Will there be fighting and resentment?

From the perspective of a 20-year veteran who has observed many families, we should be more concerned with our own behavior. If every heir were in tune with his or her own behavior and had the ability to stay on the peaceful path, there would be a lot less fighting in the world.

When a parent passes, particularly the last remaining parent, true colors, a few fangs, and an entitlement mentality will eventually surface. Most feuds break out for four basic reasons:

  • A misunderstanding has taken place and has not been effectively dealt with.
  • Everyone grieves differently, and emotions can be volatile.
  • A situation has been festering for years, one that probably took place during childhood and will now appear, causing all kinds of problems.
  • An heir perceives he or she is being cheated in the distribution of heirlooms.

How do you contribute to a more peaceful resolution? Check back next week for four valuable suggestions.

By Julie Hall
The Estate Lady Blog

[First posted June 14, 2010, at Julie Hall's Estate Lady Web site.]

Contact our Silver Advisors ButtonOur Silver Advisors™ are professional geriatric care managers and other experts who provide phone consultations on preventing falls, navigating Medicare, evaluating senior driving challenges, and other issues baby boomers must resolve while caring for an aging loved one. Silver Advisors clarify concerns, suggest a plan of action, help prioritize next steps, and furnish personalized written plans and recommendations. All callers receive a complimentary 15-minute consultation.


What We Do
Silver Planet® helps baby boomers guide their parents to age in place by providing services and products related to aging at home and housing options.