Retired but Bored: How Should I Spend My Time?

Dear Ellie:

I retired recently and, honestly, I don’t know what to do with myself. I play golf about once a week in nice weather, but it’s winter now and the golf courses are closed. I enjoy a game of poker with my friends, but we only play cards about once a month. I like puttering in the garden, but that’s only a warm-weather activity. I’ve shopped for everything I want and need.

I’m in good health, and my wife goes to work every day. To tell you the truth, I’m bored and don’t know what other guys do after they retire. Sometimes I wish I was still working. What suggestions do you have? Jim

Dear Jim:

I hear your story from a lot of men, especially those who have spent most of their adult lives in the workforce and have not developed many interests outside of work. Retirement can shed a spotlight on a serious deficiency in many men’s lives: no hobbies, no community commitments, and few interests outside work. It’s really time for you to be creative and change your daily routine. Some people call this reinventing your life. I have a few suggestions for you.

Sit down with a piece of paper or a calendar with daily blocks on it. Decide what time you want to get up in the morning and enter that time for about a week on the calendar (or paper). Enter the time for your breakfast and maybe for reading the newspaper, if you like to do that. If you have investments that you want to check every morning or evening, enter that activity daily; otherwise, enter it periodically as you wish. Now comes the hard part.

Decide if you want to walk or do some exercise at home or at a facility, and enter that activity into your calendar at a specific time—at least three times a week, perhaps daily.

I’m a strong advocate of community service. There are so many things that need doing in our communities. Ask yourself: Do I want to work with adults or children? Do I have a skill that I could teach to others? What age group would I enjoy and be good with? Where would I find them? Would I like to be a driver for a nonprofit agency? Is there a health problem I’d like to help solve? Is there a nearby college where I could teach? Add your own questions to this list.

This list of questions could get very long. But the basic idea is that you should begin to think about your community in terms of sectors, ages, and issues. When you have identified the “who” and the “what” that you prefer, then the challenge is “where” and “with whom.”

In order to zero in on your own community, I suggest that you use the phone book and the Internet. Telephone books usually have government agency phone numbers in the front. They also may have nonprofit agencies and organizations in a special section. If you care about a particular cause, you might choose to explore that sector, like cancer, hospice, sports, the homeless, your church or synagogue, education, or your own professional field.

On the Internet, go to Google and enter a few keywords, like Boys and Girls Clubs in (your city and state name), or the name of your school district, or your community’s United Way or Community Chest. It’s best if you search by type of organization: schools, colleges, recreation centers, etc. Record all these phone numbers, even if you’re not going to use them right away.

It may take you a few days, or even weeks, to decide which public agency or nonprofit organization to call. Then start calling. A telephone inquiry is not a commitment, so don’t be afraid to make an inquiry. You’ll be surprised at the wide array of organizations you’ll learn about.

Then consider some of your options for volunteering. Talk over your ideas with your wife and friends. Go to lunch with a friend and discuss what you are considering. Think of this decision as being as important as choosing a new car or a new career. There are always more options than we are able to take advantage of, so enjoy the search.

When you have decided on a particular goal, start thinking about visiting those organizations in which you are interested. In some cities, there are volunteer coordinating agencies that help to match a person with the most compatible organization. In Denver, where I live, for example, that agency is called Metro Volunteers. These agencies are especially helpful because they have experience with many groups and organizations, and have developed expertise in matching them with the best volunteers.

Once you find the organization that interests you, don’t forget to enter the information and your schedule of visits and volunteer commitments on your calendar. Remember, what you are trying to do is change your everyday routine to better match your available time now that you are retired. Just keeping a calendar or log will help you to develop the discipline to plan your days. At a time of transition, we can all profit from changing simple daily routines and committing things to writing. Those small changes in habit can assist us with establishing new routines while we transition from one phase of our lives to another.

This is only one strategy for using your time and talents in your retirement years. There are others, of course, such as paid part-time or full-time employment, learning and education, and travel. But, for now, I suggest that you think about volunteering.

We have so many unmet needs in our world. I believe that everyone should “give back” to their communities when they have the time and energy to do so.

Be sure to write and tell me how your new strategy is working out and what you have decided to do with your time and energy. I’m sure that other Silver Planet readers would also be interested. Ellie

By Elinor Miller Greenberg, EdD

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