Dear Ellie
Think of Dear Ellie as your very own kitchen table, where you can discuss the things that are on your mind. Now that the boomers are turning 60 and those in the Greatest Generation are in their 70s, 80s, and 90s—we are all blazing new trails in the third third of life. So, have a cup of coffee and let’s talk about life: the past, the present, and the future. [Editor's note: Dr. Greenberg no longer contributes to Silver Planet, but we have made her archived blog entries available as a service to our readers.]
Is It OK to Just Say No to Social Networking?
The balance is all wrong
Dear Ellie:
I am 76 years old and use a computer every day. I like to read the online newspapers, and I get a kick out of some of the jokes people send me. I correspond with my family and friends who use computers, and especially enjoy sending interesting items to my grandchildren. But now I am being pressured to participate in what they call social networks, like Facebook, MySpace, and, recently, Twitter. I really don’t enjoy these things and don’t feel that they do anything useful for me. I am in touch with those I choose to communicate with.
Do you think that it’s OK to say “no” to these invitations? I don’t want to seem like an “old fuddy-duddy,” but I really don’t care about these new online devices. How should I respond negatively, firmly, but politely? Marvin
Dear Marvin:
I really know what you mean. I’m not very enthusiastic about the new social networks either, but I, too, use my computer every day for both work and pleasure.
I read about some new data from the Pew Internet & American Life Project recently. It said that people your age, over 76 years old, had increased their usage of the Internet from 17% to 27% since 2005. Now, that’s a lot of increase. It also means that more than a quarter of your peers are online, even though only 24% of all Americans over age 55 are using computers. Overall, that should give you a lot of people to chat with.
When it comes to blogs, like you and I are doing now, only 15% of those who read blogs are age 73 or older. And only 6% of that same age group actually keep a blog. That means you are far from being a “fuddy-duddy.” In fact, you are in the pacesetting, leadership group when it comes to men and women in your age group who both use the Internet and participate in blogs.
Another aspect of our using technology is how it is affecting our health. A recent study reported in the Biologist, the journal of the U.K. Institute of Biology, said that too many hours on the computer are leading to actual illnesses, like high blood pressure and hormonal changes. Whether or not there are enough data to show the connection between computer use and physical illness, most of us would agree that the time we spend on our computers reduces the amount of time we spend on real relationships. In fact, that same article goes on to quote Aric Sigman: “The Internet and other electronic media can be fantastic tools but they shouldn’t displace real relationships. The balance is all wrong.”
That’s something to think about.
So don’t apologize for not wanting to spend more time on electronic social networks. You are wise to get away from your computer and spend more real time with your friends and family. Ellie
By Elinor Miller Greenberg, EdD
Dear Ellie Blog
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