I’m Having a Hot Flash

College funds wasted on a new Dodge Viper?

Dear Blabby and Crabby:

Our grandson will start college this fall. Over the past few years, his grandfather and I have given him several thousand dollars for his college fund. His maternal grandparents have done the same, which meant that our son and daughter-in-law didn’t have to spend hardly any of their own money to send him to college. Here’s our problem. The little weasel got an ROTC scholarship and spent all of the money on a brand new Dodge Viper. My husband and son think it’s “cool.” I’m “hot” over his actions and think it’s outrageous, since he could have invested the money and bought a nice house someday. Am I wrong? Signed: Boiling Brenda

Blabby: There are many good reasons why the term “generation gap” has surfaced in our language. Here’s another fine example.

Crabby: The problem with women in general is that they are much too practical. They just can’t visualize all of the advantages of this situation.

Blabby: And what might those advantages be?

Crabby: I’m guessing that he’ll be the only male on campus with a new Viper. He’ll be the envy of all the other guys, and he won’t have any trouble getting dates.

Blabby: And how is this an advantage over the long term? Suppose he flunks out of school because he’s hanging out way too much with the guys and spending too much time dating?

Crabby: He can trade rides in the Viper for help with his homework. Guys into hot cars will do anything to ride around campus in a neat car to improve their chances of hooking up with chicks. Girls will do anything as well to be seen riding in the coolest car on campus.

Blabby: So you’re saying that cars make the man and allow manipulation of other people?

Crabby: Correct!

Blabby: And when does this fascination with cars and manipulation end as we mature?

Crabby: It never does. Look at all the guys our age who buy Mercedes-Benz vehicles. They are way overpriced and cost a fortune to maintain, but the image of riding around in a Mercedes is the driving motivation, no pun intended. Driving a Mercedes also gets you favors. If you’re single at our age, it’s easier to pick up women.

Blabby: Wouldn’t I be better off in a Rolls Royce or a Bentley?

Crabby: Sure, but who can afford one?

Blabby: College students who put their money in an investment account and wait a few years.

Crabby: I think your practical, feminine side is starting to show. You only get one chance to be frivolous and that’s in your youth. Go for the gold when you have a chance.

Blabby: And what kind of car did you drive when you were a freshman?

Crabby: I didn’t have a car. I rode my bicycle. But I always wanted a Mercedes.

Blabby: And why haven’t you purchased one?

Crabby: I had to pay the tuition and fees to put my kids through school, buy a house, and all that kind of stuff.

Blabby: We should go down to Victoria’s Secret and buy you some new clothes. I think I see your feminine side coming out!


By Don Griffin
Blabby and Crabby Blog