Duffer’s Dementia

Convenient mental lapses when counting strokes?

Dear Blabby and Crabby:

I play golf twice a week with Frank (not his real name) in a regular foursome. Frank is in his late 60s and is in good physical and mental health. However, Frank frequently has mental lapses (maybe) when it comes to remembering how many strokes he takes on some holes. At least two or three times each round, he comes up short in his stroke count for a hole played.

When we ask him a second time for the count on a hole just to give him an opportunity to recount, he never changes his first answer. The other two players in our group have noticed Frank’s incorrect stroke count, but we’re not sure how to deal with the issue. Any advice as to how we can resolve this problem without risking our friendship? Signed: Frustrated with Frank

Blabby: It’s easy to see why Frank’s playing partners are frustrated. The founding principles of golf include both honesty and integrity.

Crabby: It’s too bad those same principles don’t apply to the manufacturers of golf equipment.

Blabby: What do you mean?

Crabby: There are hours of infomercials on television every day claiming you can hit the ball further and straighter—and lower your score by five strokes—if you buy their products.

Blabby: I’m sure that some of those products work.

Crabby: True, but many don’t. I calculated that if I spent $5,299 on the stuff advertised in just one 24-hour period, I could be shooting 42 every time I played 18 holes.

Blabby: Way to go, Tiger! But what’s this got to do with Frank and his buddies?

Crabby: Everything! Golf is a game of one-upsmanship. Frank’s found a way to shave strokes and not spend any money. I think I’ll try it next time out.

Blabby: You won’t need to if you spend the $5,299! Golf truly is competitive, but Frank’s buddies don’t know if he’s distorting his score on purpose or if he really is having short-term memory loss.

Crabby: I’ll bet you $5 that Frank’s taking their money with this act, and they’re trying to find a way to get it back.

Blabby: What if he isn’t and there’s really an underlying issue here?

Crabby: Underlying could be defined as not counting all his strokes!

Blabby: Very funny. Do their motives really matter one way or the other since Frank’s score is coming up short on the card? Isn’t this about honesty and integrity among friends?

Crabby: I think they should put down Frank’s score with the extra strokes, take his money, and not worry about honesty and integrity. May the most devious golfer win!

Blabby: How do the other three guys in your foursome feel about that kind of an attitude?

Crabby: I’m having trouble getting guys to play on a regular basis.

Blabby: Why does that not surprise me?


By Don Griffin
Blabby and Crabby Blog